Aloha Amsterdam!

I left for a quick juant to Amsterdam last week Monday. Swept up in a romantic bliss point sailing on Europa from Antartic to tropical waters, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to reunite with my shipmates (never thought I'd use that word again) and welcome Europa home.

Jenny, and Europa in the distance.

Going through the lock.

To be honest, the trip to Amsterdam was a mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand, in the haven of our sweet Airbnb flat, Rachel, Jenny and I laughed, conversed and grew our friendship. I reveled in the excitement that comes with bringing a ship home, and Jenny and my impromptu dance party brought cheers and smiles from the ship as they went through the lock in Ijmuiden. On the other hand, I was made aware of intense drama surrounding one of my close friends from the ship after I left on Ascension Island. Sadly, this served to shake my character of trusting all people. Or maybe it showed me that my snap perception of certain people is usually too simplistic. In any case, I feel like I lost a friend who filled me with energy and adventure. 

Canal boat cruise with Europa friends. Copious amounts of wine was drunk (mostly by me).

When I reflect on the experience that I had on Europa, and the people I met, it makes me feel alive and grand. A ship is a mini cosmos. Personalities, stories, personal baggage, all swirl in this intensely close atmosphere. You must depend and trust in one another in order to keep the ship moving and hearts soaring. Why would you embark on months of time at sea if it weren't for some form of love? Love of the sea, of wild places, of the strangers you will meet who are seeking answers like yourself. The compressed timeline of existence, spending 24 hours a day in a confined space with other people, accelerated and deepened friendships. You share these wildly romantic experiences with each other: sunsets over the ocean, encountering impossible to believe wildlife, dancing under the stars on an open, rolling deck. My heart swells just thinking of the dreamlike atmosphere of pure joy. But, it can also induce restlessness and boredom if not tempered, which I believe was the downfall of my friend. 

In the two months I was onboard Europa, I became closer to myself and was able to make decisions for my life unencumbered and uninfluenced by anyone else. I feel a sense of circle made whole by seeing Europa come home. Meeting again friends who I was parted so dramatically when I was injured and taken from the ship on a hospital boat. I also realized (and I already knew this from my time in the Navy) that the sense of closeness established on adventures and travel doesn't always translate to real, deep closeness. Sometimes it does, and I have many lifelong friendships because of it. But, sometimes the sense of excitement and connectedness has an expiration date. It is no ones fault and it isn't necesseraily connected to superficiality. You can love someone in a moment of life, and not know them the next. It doesn't detract from the beauty of those moments of love. So, yes, in the end I am sad about my friend...but more so I am blessed that our friendship existed in such a state of happiness.