Maks dropped me off at the Naval Base at dusk on Halloween. American children scampered around, darting beneath the street lamps, totting bags laden with sweets. This is a place where children can walk freely, without a care in the world (after all, they live in a place with gates and guards). I rendezvoused with my dear, dear friend Molly, her boyfriend Alex, his son Murphy and a gaggle of other American Naval officers and their children.
Molly is one of the most passionate, big-hearted individuals I know. When I was going through a personal crisis in April, I fled to Italy to be with her and in her embrace. At the same time, Molly was going through a very difficult time, and I was there to pick her up as much as she energetically pulled me back into full life. Sometimes the path from Point A to Point Happy can take a strange and circuitous route, and I am filled with joy that Molly is in love and laughing again.
As culturally shocking as it was to walk across a Spain, so it was returning to mini America. Suddenly surrounded by children and their 360 degree energy called for a quick adjustment. Somehow I found myself pushing a baby carriage and walking a dog named Sugar, as parents tried to corral/run their sugar filled childen into exhaustion.
In all honestly, being amongst these children was a big moment. In the last few months, I have started to really confront the realities and the hopes I have for my life. Growing up, and all the way through my 20s, children were not something I thought too hard about. It was a part of life I figured would organically work itself out. I envisioned that marriage and children were a logical next step, but didn't actively push for their realization. Yes, I have had relationships, and there was a vague notion that being a mother was all part of some predestined plan. When my close girlfriend, Maria, had her first child, about a year and a half ago, the first twinge of motherhood hit me (albeit, not in any kind of consuming way). I saw Maria with Genevieve, and witnessed truly unconditional love. It is a beautiful thing to behold. And yet, even now, I feel no driving need to have children of my own. Kelsey and I had many conversations on family and children on the Way, and she opened my mind to the possibility of different paths. Ultimately, I am existing in a grey area, which is always the hardest to be in. I am not bent on motherhood and working towards that known eventuality, nor am I certain that I don't want to be a mother. At 28, I don't really feel any pressure (yet) to make a decision, but for the first time, I am realizing it is a decision and not a forgone conclusion. Even more to sort through during this period of hopeful discovery.
Friday afternoon, Molly and I went to a typical JO party. A JO (Junior Officer) is a person in the military who occupies a junior officer rank, and is usually in their 20s or early 30s and not so distantly graduated from college and being commissioned. In the Navy, they can be stationed in such places as Hawaii (the best), San Diego, Virginia Beach, Naples, Mayport etc. and tend to have quite a bit of disposable income. So in some ways it can resemble an extension of college, but with more money, more responsibility, and better living arrangements. In any case, a typical gathering of JOs will involve shenanigans, big personalities (both good and bad), very often alcohol, and hopefully wonderful memories to mark an incredible time in our lives.
The most wonderful part of the party, were these two:
Tony and Carmella.
Look at that connection.
Saturday, Molly, Alex, Alex's American friend Ken and I picked up another former STOCKDALE JO, Jeana and we headed out for wine tasting. After the hour and a half drive, we arrived at the imposing winery to find reservations had been a must. Va bene! So instead we went and had a huge lunch with a fair share of table wine. That evening was a Halloween party, the likes of which you go to when you are bridging the gap between being a classy adult and still wanting to act a little bit of a young fool. It was a reunion however, as the Navy is a small community, and you greet old friends and meet mutual friends everywhere you turn.
Molly, Jeana and I pre costume.
Molly and I awkwardly making cider. Thankfully Molly has a chest of costumes (this girl!).
Funny how being in Naples makes me feel like I am still enveloped in Navy social life. Part of me finds it comforting in the familiar sense and a part of me wants to still be quietly on El Camino with people of different backgrounds and stories from me. Even when I was a JO, I was never fully plugged in to the JO lifestyle, being a little introverted and not a big drinker (although there are always moments of exceptions), so I find it interesting to now be even more on the outside as a civilian. Being with Molly, Alex and Maks however, has made me feel amongst family and friends, giving me a dose of home before Nepal.
The following day, Jeana, Molly and I ate famous Neapolitan pizza and gelato.
We wandered the alleys of Naples, past the Duomos and street vendors. This place is full of loud life.
The remainder of this week has been full of semi motivated attempts to prepare for Nepal, such as going to the brightly lit, squeaky clean, American-ized grocery and shopping centers on the Naval base and stocking up on such delicacies as Wheat Thins, Gold Fish and Kashi cereal. I am trying to gear myself up for the promised chaotic experience of the Kathmandu airport and visa process, and read up on basic do's and don'ts of living in Nepal. It has also become clear that structure is an important part of life, even if it is self imposed. Imperceptibly, my sleeping schedule has shifted to being awake until the early hours of the morning, then taking naps during the day. No bueno.
I am filled with barely contained excitement, a little anxiety and a whole lot of Italian food as I get ready to leave for Nepal tomorrow. Italy has been a truly wonderful stop over, making me all the more grateful for my giving, passionate, full of life friends. Sitting here in Molly's comfortable apartment, I can hardly wrap my mind around the dramatic shift my daily life will undergo living and volunteering in such a foreign place. I will see with my own eyes Mt. Everest, and I know I will be left in breathless (literally) wonder. I will see animal suffering and the passionate appeal to alleviate that suffering during my time volunteering. I will remind myself to live in the present, to take it all in as best I can, and smile.
Ciao bellas e bellos.
Oh how I am lusting after that pizza! The best in the world.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post today. Some of your best writing yet.
Buen Camino, as the road continues. Have a safe journey my sweetheart!
Love you